It’s been such a long time since I’ve written publicly. So much going on in my life. Lots of life lessons, changes, and work. Work maintaining my house, business, and finances. Many friends new and old visiting often, helping in many ways. Still have not officially gotten the divorce and it’s been almost two years now. I would like to finalize that asap as I head into a new long term goal of getting the debts I acquired over the past five years paid off. It will take a while and at times seems totally impossible, but I’m doing everything I am able to to make it happen. I’m renting out two rooms in the house now, sold the expensive car Paul and I bought jointly, canceled TV and satellite radio and any other subscriptions or services I do not absolutely need. Every little thing helps.
I haven’t been able to give up my horse yet though I have considered it. I love him so much, he’s my buddy, and this last year has been tough because I’ve been so busy just trying to keep up with the house here I haven’t given him much time. He’s good though. I work with him still on the ground and take him for hikes. I took him for a month and a half to my mom down near the beach so she could work with him a bit.
I’m studying A Course in Miracles, which has been incredibly helpful to me. One thing it teaches is how to become aware of our thoughts and how they create my perception and therefore experience. I don’t think I know I would not have been able to get through some of this stuff over the last two years as easily without it. But, I believe everything happens for a reason and in every difficult situation is a lesson opportunity. Overall I feel calmer, less anxious and happy more of the time. Stress comes but seems to leave more quickly as I don’t hold onto it and make more out of it than just what it is, a situation other than what was expected. I see things with greater awareness, and also have experienced many amazing things on this journey that have really opened my eyes and mind even further and I’m grateful for all of it.
